4.06.2005

Blog abandonment

Well.... slap my ass and send me to the corner. I'm long overdue for a post. Nothing really new to report, though, so brace yourselves for a whole lotta nothing special. Ooooo, you know what I did on Friday? I ate an ENTIRE GIANT Hershey's kiss. Yup, the huge ones. It was gooooood, too. Ya know, back in my anorexic days? I wouldn't kiss my boyfriend because I was scared I'd get calories from his spit. I also stopped swallowing. Sperm has, like, 9 calories per average load. (God forbid, right?). Also, I wouldn't use chapstick or lipstick or any stick because I was scared the "oils" or "waxes" or whatever would totally make me fat if I licked my lips. I'm serious here. Oh, I also chewed gum until my freaking jaw collapsed because I read somewhere that you burn 11 calories an hour doing it. And since most gum has 5 cals a stick (sugarless, of course) I had to chew it for an hour, since 1/2 hour would only burn off the calories in the gum itself. PSYCHO. Now that I look back on all my weird behavior? I realize I am lucky to still be alive. And that I'm lucky to still have friends. What would I say to someone with the same irrational fears and logic that I had long ago? Good question. There's really nothing you can say. It's a total disease of the mind.

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